no apology necessary

I’ve been thinking about how often I say ‘sorry’… it seems to be a default when I am needing or wanting something, expressing myself, in someone’s way, or feel that I am sharing too much.  Beneath that phrase, what I am really saying is sorry that I: had a thought, an opinion, an emotion, spoke my truth, didn’t meet some sort of expectation, took up physical space; basically, apologizing for EXISTING.  Who am I to be thinking and feeling and being?  There is a similar underlying energy I notice when I am about to share something personal about myself, and feel the need to preface it with ‘I know this is weird/silly/stupid, but…’ so I can prepare for the judgement that I expect to follow (sorry for what I love, what interests me, makes me happy, for who I am). This often comes at the point in a new friendship where I am starting to peel back the layers and expose a little bit more of me, and I am terrified that they will reject me… that the ‘real’ me is unlovable.  Sound familiar? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

It feels risky and scary to fully expose ourselves, to feel it all, to be ‘out there’ in the world, to be unapologetically who you are.  But the thing is, the world needs you (seriously) and your unique gifts (you do have them), and unless you start to embrace and love every last bit of yourself, and share it openly and authentically, how else can you reach your highest potential?  How else can you be truly joyful… be fully at home in yourself? Because really, when it comes to being you – the unique, beautiful, incredible being that you are – who else is better for the job?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Today I pulled the black egg card from the Wild Unknown deck, which asks us to speak from an authentic voice.  Without this, we speak from an unsure place, we say and do things we expect will please others, or we hide parts of ourselves.  It reminds us to tap into our epicenter of truth and speak and act from that place.  So how about we try this: we all stop hiding… swing open the gates to let out ALL that we are.  Be free to express and feel and be.  And while you’re busy at this business of being your authentic self – as long as you are doing no harm – don’t ever fucking apologize for it. ⠀

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